Lightning Is Fast…. But A Scared Fat Woman Is Faster

Late afternoon thunderstorms rolling into the area are like a breath of fresh air as they cool the blistering summer heat. They also spawn traffic accidents and the chatter on the scanner sitting to my left really picks up anytime the skies darken and the thunder rolls.  

Tuesday evening the sky turned a peachy color, the wind picked up and a warning was broadcast about the danger of frequent cloud to ground lightning from the approaching storm. Moments later the dispatcher notified a deputy that someone had reported an overturned car.

I grabbed the camera bag and a note pad on the way out the door. After backing halfway down the drive, I thought that my raincoat and hat would be a good idea too. This certainly wasn't the first wreck I've ever rushed to through the years and it seems that somewhere along the way, I’d figure out that flip flops are not ideally suited for running around in the rain… this was not to be the moment that I would come to that realization though.

The accident was only seven or eight minutes away and most sensible drivers had decided to stay off the road during the storm so traffic was much lighter than normal and I was able to park about forty yards from the scene. The intersection was near the crest of a long steep hill that climbed up from the creek.

I made the quick switch to a lens better suited for low light conditions and started shooting as soon as I got out of the truck.

The car was lying on it’s side in the ditch and the tire tracks were still visible showing how it had traveled across the road before taking out the road sign honoring a local politician, then overturning. The darkness wrapped around us much quicker under the threatening sky and my flash was only good for about ten feet. I was getting the best shots possible under the conditions and had taken eight or ten close-ups of the underneath side of the SUV when I decided that I needed one that showed more than mufflers, shocks and wheels.

The embankment on the other side of the ditch would provide the perfect vantage point, all I had to do was get there. Trying to negotiate a ditch with running water still flowing through it and climb up on a slippery Georgia red clay bank is tough enough, throw in a pair of flip flops and it can get down right entertaining.
Both feet were wet by the time I found a better route back to the pavement and it was impossible to get all the sticky red mud off the flops. I had all the shots that I wanted with the camera so one more with the cell phone would wrap things up.

Just as I raised the phone up to eye level, a huge bolt of lightning struck to my right.

I jumped pretty high and before I hit the ground, I heard her coming.

Now I understand the need to be politically correct in today’s world but there are times when it’s impossible to describe what happened and do it justice. This lady was huge and she was moving faster than the sound of thunder. I didn't wait to see what had caused this stampede, I headed downhill and prayed I could stay in front of her.

Within ten steps, I was looking at her backside…..she came by me like I was running in the other direction.
About this time, I heard the thunder and saw her find a gear that I’m sure only she knew she possessed. Adrenalin is a powerful substance and at this moment I was still thinking that maybe I’d  have a shot at catching up when we crossed the creek and started up the opposite hill. My rain coat was flapping in the tailwind and the camera around my neck stretched out behind me.

Halfway to the creek, I was out of air. I’ll probably never know where she turned around, or if she did.
It took several minutes for me to walk back up the hill to where I had parked the truck and as I opened the door, Julie looked up and without cracking a smile asked, “Where did you go?”

I just wasn’t man enough to tell her that the fat lady had scared the living hell out of me and that I couldn’t outrun her in flip flops.

The moment of realization had arrived.